The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Shotgun
by sugar.and.cupcakes
Summary: The chosen hero here to save the world from evil is packing a cell phone, life replenishing energy drinks, and the Master Blaster. But demon lords in red leather jackets, rescue missions, and very unhelpful companions will complicate the matter. Oh, and did I mention that the hero is a girl? Rated M for language.


**A/N: Sorry for not updating Devil's Girl! My computer's broken and I wrote this from a different one! Once I get mine fixed I'll start updating Devil's Girl again. But until then, please enjoy this new story! Reviews are always appreciated!**

 _This is a tale that you humans have passed down through uncounted generations... It tells of a war of unmatched scale and ferocity, the likes of which would never be seen again._

 _One dark, fateful day, the earth cracked wide and malevolent forces rushed forth from the fissure. They mounted a brutal assault upon the people of the surface, driving the land into deep despair... They burnt forests to ash, choked the lands sweet springs, and murdered without hesitation._

 _They did all this in their lust to take the ultimate power protected by Ms. Hylia, the president. The power she guarded was without equal. Handed down by people of old, this power gave its holder the means to make any desire a reality. Such was the might of the ultimate power that the old ones placed it in the care of the president._

 _To prevent this great power from falling into the hands of the evil swarming the lands... The president gathered the surviving humans on an outcropping of earth. She sent it skyward, beyond the reach of the demonic hordes. Beyond even the clouds._

 _With the humans safe, the president joined forces with the land dwellers and fought the evil forces, sealing them away. At last, peace was restored to the world._

 _This is a tale that you humans have told for many ages, generation to generation... But there are other legends, long hidden away from memory, that are intertwined with this tale._

 _Now, a new legend bound to this great story stands ready to be revealed. A legend that will be forged by your own hand._

Woah… where am I? Everything's so dark… I look around, trying to make sense of my strange surroundings. A huge noise vibrates the air around me, half deafening me. I whirl around, ready to hold up my fists to whatever fucker thinks he can go around yelling people to death. My face pales and my hands drop. The thing that made that noise is huge. No, huge would be an understatement. This thing is a colossus, a mammoth, scaly beast with a mouth that seems to take up half of its body. It has no eyes to speak of just rows upon rows of very sharp teeth.

And then, just when I was thinking this shit couldn't get any weirder, a bright purple light shines down on both me and Mr. Loudmouth over here. A figure is floating in the light but it's so bright I can't make out anything. I squint and shield my eyes with my hands. The light seems to somewhat pacify the monster I'm stuck with.

"Who's there?" I ask shakily.

"Rise, Linka… The time has come for you to awaken. You are fated to have a hand in a great destiny, and it will soon find you… The time has come for you to awaken… Linka…" It's a woman's voice, I can tell. She's speaking some strange foreign language but somehow, I know exactly what she's saying.

The monster lets out another supersonic roar and then the light disappears. A couple of seconds later, the beast goes the same way. I spin slowly on the spot, looking for anything else in this vast blackness. Something squawks at me and I turn around to see a robotic, blue bird. It squawks again and the darkness vanishes in an instant.

I groan and stare up at the ceiling of my dorm room. Oh thank goddess it was just a dream. You can probably tell that I'm not one of those old people who believe that Ms. Hylia, our first president, was a goddess. They'd faint if they heard me using her name in vain like that. The robotic bird from my dream has its head poking through my window. It spits a letter at me and then flies off. That was my best friend Zelda's Loftwing. Loftwings are artificial intelligences put into metal birds. That same Ms. Hylia left them to us, because damn she was awesome at science. And somehow, there's one for every person who lives up on this island of Skyloft. That's how she got this place up here in the beginning. She used science, not supernatural goddess magic.

I pick up the letter the Loftwing spit at me and open it. It's from Zelda alright. I can tell by her perfect handwriting. Why she sends letters when she can just text me is beyond me.

 _Hey, sleepyhead. I know how much you like to sleep in, so I'm guessing this letter will be your alarm clock this morning. Did I guess right? Rise and shine, Linka! Today's the Wing Ceremony! You promised to meet me before it starts, remember? You'd better not keep me waiting._

 _-Zelda_

I sigh and put her letter on the bed. Right, the stupid Wing Ceremony. There's way too much hype about this thing. Sure the winner gets one step closer to knighthood and some fancy present from Zelda but honestly, it's not like the fate of the world rests on who wins it or whatever. But even though I think everyone's got their panties in a twist about it, I'm determined to win. Because my greatest rival, Groose, thinks he can win! And there's no way I'm going to let some pompous ass like him win! Before I march out to go meet my friend, I catch a whiff of my armpits. Ooh, I smell nasty. Okay, okay, there's time for a quick bath before I go meet Zelda, right? Of course there is.

I push open my door and sorely wish (not for the first time) that there were room on the girls' floor for my dorm room. But noooooo, they put the offices up there so I'm stuck down here with all these gross, teenage boys. They can't get over the fact that a girl can be so tough. Most of them also try to spy on me when I'm in the bath. Fucking perverts. But since they're probably all out practicing now, I think I'm safe. I jog up the stairs and stride over to the mini-bath house. I push open the door and take the path to the girls' bath. A lot of times Karane, Zelda, and I bathe together. I mean, we're all girls so it isn't weird. I pull off my cream colored, long-sleeved t-shirt, green cargo pants, and brown boots. I leave them on the clothing shelf and walk over to the bath in my green bra and panties. Making sure there's nobody behind me, I peel them off too, and then jump quickly into the bath. I sigh in content before grabbing a bar of soap. I scrub my body thoroughly and am just about to get out when I hear a voice.

"Hur hur hur, Linka's not gonna see this one coming. There's no way she'll know that we stole her homework!" says a voice I recognize. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. It's Groose. He doesn't come near me but I see his shadow reflected on the wall. He leaves in a minute but I have a bad feeling about this. I get out and quickly put my undergarments back on. I jog over to the clothing shelf and my stomach drops out. THEY'VE STOLEN MY FUCKING HOMEWORK! Snarling and spitting mad, I throw open the door and storm out. But not before I grab a towel and throw it around my body.

"GROOOOOOOOOSE!" I scream.

He freezes in his tracks and turns around. He's holding my homework in his arms.

"Oh, hey, Linka," he says uneasily.

I stride forward, unafraid, and snatch my assignments back. And then, I punch him right in his stupid jaw. After that, I walk back to the bath house and put my clothes back on. Those assholes! I really hate being a girl sometimes. I rush back out and out of the stupid Knight Academy. I hate this boarding school soooo much sometimes.

"Oh, hello, Linka!" says Mr. Horwell cheerfully.

I climb up a couple of crates and jump over to where he's standing. I squeeze some water out of my bushy hair. "Good morning, Mr. Horwell. I'm sorry, but I'm kind of in a hurry," I say before dashing off.

I guessed that Zelda would be goofing off- oh I'm sorry, praying- at the statue of Ms. Hylia again. I jogged up the stairs leading to it and into the courtyard. Sure enough, there's Zelda playing a harp or something. She's singing some song that doesn't even rhyme about a youth guided by the goddess. Okay, why would you sing that crap when you could be singing Three Days Grace or Green Day?

And behind her is the statue of Ms. Hylia. She's dressed in a pencil skirt, blazer, and tie. She has slender arms and legs and wears high heels. I always feel kind of jealous of her. For one, I'm not slender or graceful. I'm muscular and high heels make me trip.

"Linka! You came!" Zelda trills, running up to me. She's wearing a long sleeved, pink shirt, a plaid skirt in the same shade of pink, and a golden belt made of flat circles joined together. And she's wearing a funky parachute like a shawl. She's blonde and blue eyed, picture perfect pretty girl.

"Of course I did. Anything for you, Zel," I say, patting her shoulder. Okay, maybe Zelda's got a few screws loose but she's a sweet girl and she's my best friend. I'd go to hell and back for her.

"Did my Loftwing wake you up?" she giggles.

"Yeah," I say, rubbing the back of my head in embarrassment.

She laughs again and then makes an elegant twirl. "So, how do I look? I made this wrap all by myself!"

"You look great," I say. And I say it like I mean it. She doesn't deserve my smart mouth.

"I think so, too! But I'm glad you agree, Linka," she says.

"Ah! Linka! Zelda! How are you two, on this fine, fine day? Are you getting in a bit of last minute practicing?"

"Dad!" Zelda exclaims.

Ah, the headmaster. I turn around. He's a fat man with a bald patch and a snow white unibrow. No idea how Zelda ended up so pretty with him as a dad. Must be all on her mom's side.

"Mr. Headmaster, sir. I want to report Groose, Cawlin, and Strich. They stole my homework while I was taking a bath," I say blandly.

He sighs. "I'll have Mr. Owlan talk to them about it. That is very crude behavior. I'm sorry, Linka. Now, onto the matter at hand. Are you ready for the Wing Ceremony, today?"

"No, I don't think she is!" Zelda says suddenly.

I look incredulously at her. Wait, she just said WHAT?!

She turns to me. "You haven't been practicing half as much as the other candidates! And when you do, you're just giving it 50% of your full effort! You're probably daydreaming out there!"

"I am NOT daydreaming!" I shoot back. Of course not! And especially not about a handsome prince sweeping me off my feet! And DEFINITELY not about a handsome prince in a red, leather jacket!

The headmaster nods. "Zelda does make a point. You aren't practicing as much as the others. But riding a Crimson Loftwing like yours, that would make me confident, too."

That brings us to the subject of _my_ Loftwing. He's a scarlet beauty I named Inferno. The Crimson Loftwings are supposed to be some of Ms. Hylia's best and rarest creations. It's said that they were very difficult for her to make so only a few are in existence. Most of them have already been deactivated with the death of their rider. They think that Inferno might be the last one.

"Ah, I remember the day you and Inferno first met," says the headmaster. Oh, great. Old people reminiscing. Uuuuuuuugh. "You took to that bird like you were born to fly. And I know the great friendship between Linka and Inferno did not go unnoticed by you, my dear," he says to Zelda.

She pouts. But why is she jealous of a robotic bird? It just seems… uncalled for.

"That's not the point," she says, "Linka should get some practice before the Wing Ceremony starts." And with that, she grabs my arm and drags me off to a ledge.

"Wait, Zelda! I can't sense my Loftwing out there!" I say despereately, trying to struggle against her.

"What? No way! You're trying to weasel out of practicing, aren't you? Well I'm not gonna let that happen!" she says, shoving me off the ledge.

I whistle for my Loftwing, with the wind roaring in my ears. Nothing happens. After a second, panic begins to set in. My Loftwing isn't coming to catch me! Oh goddess! I'm going to be KILLED!

"I've got you, Linka!" shouts Zelda and the talons of her Loftwing close around my body. She pulls us up and we fall in a messy heap back on Skyloft. I pull myself out from under her and her bird and rub my head. I'm sure my hair is standing in my end.

"Oh, Linka! I'm so sorry! You said you couldn't sense your Loftwing out there and I should have believed you!" she says, looking dolefully up at me.

"It's okay," I say, checking my body for breaks. I seem to have come out of that endeavor unscathed.

"This is very odd," the headmaster says, "It's unheard of for a Loftwing not to answer the call of its rider."

"ATTENTION PARTICIPANTS AND SPECTATORS OF THE WING CEREMONY! PLEASE REPORT TO THE KNIGHT ACADEMY. THE WING CEREMONY WILL BEGIN IN FIVE MINUTES. I REPEAT, THE WING CEREMONY WILL BEGIN IN FIVE MINUTES," Mr. Horwell shouts over the citywide PA system. Shit, that was loud. He knows he doesn't have to yell, right?

"Oh no! But they can't start the Ceremony without your Loftwing!" Zelda frets.

"I'll go tell him what's up. He'll postpone it for me," I say confidently, jogging off toward the Knight Academy. Why do they use that stupid, old-fashioned name, anyway? I spot Mr. Horwell and wave frantically at him.

"Mr. Horwell! Mr. Horwell!" I shout.

He looks over at me. "What is it, Linka? Shouldn't you be heading over to the academy?"

"My Loftwing's gone missing!" I tell him.

He gasps. "Really? Well I'll tell the headmaster and ask him to postpone the race-,"

"He already knows," I call back to him, jumping down to the ground below us. I should head to the Plaza. That's usually where the best gossip circulates. Maybe someone will know what happened to Inferno.

I reach the Plaza, ignoring some kid's request for me to roll into a tree (?) and get there. It's completely deserted except for three unfamiliar, ugly faces. Cawlin, Strich, and Groose.

"That was a real hassle, getting that Loftwing in the pen. What with all the alarm systems it kept trying to run. I mean, how many safety precautions has that girl put on it?" says one of the two flunkies.

Groose chuckles. "You should've known that locking up a crimson brute like that wasn't going to be easy," he guffawes.

Those fuckers! Ooooh they're gonna get it good, now! I cough in a very light, airy, feminine way. They all turn around and it looks like their jaws are gonna drop straight to the ground. I put on my best girly voice. "Excuse me, what were you just talking about?" I ask sweetly and bat my eyes for good measure.

Groose does his 'dur hur hur', "I heard that you can't find your Loftwing. I guess that means you can't compete in the race, huh? Well, you better get used to failure, pipsqueak! Because I'm the one that's going to get Zelda's special present, not you!"

Ewwwwww, the way he talks about Zelda's 'special present' makes it sound like it's a euphemism for something. Gross.

"Yes, me and Zelda will have our special moment alone on the top of the statue of Ms. Hylia," he says, smoke pouring out his nose. Okay, super gross.

"Umm, what do you mean about our 'special moment alone?'" asks Zelda sharply.

Buuuuuuurn. I kind of zone out of the conversation then, leaving Zelda and Groose to do whatever. Now I know they did take Inferno. But where would they have put my poor, sweet Loftwing? However, I know one thing. I need to go down to the Shotgun Training Hall. All 'knights' in training have to learn how to use a shotgun. And I think that wherever I'm going, I'll probably need one. I jog down to the training hall and spot Pipit and Fledge. They're also greasy teenage boys but they aren't as bad as Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Gross Groose.

"Linka! Over here!" Pipit says, waving to me. He's an upperclassman, almost a 'knight'. I walk over to him.

"I'm kind of in a hurry, Pipit," I say.

"But we have some really important information about Inferno!" he says.

Now I'm listening. I push my hands into the pockets of my cargo pants. "Okay. Spill it, Pipit."

Fledge pipes up. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Linka! I was having breakfast in the cafeteria when I overheard Groose and his buddies talking about abducting your Loftwing! I tried to sneak off and tell you but they saw me and grabbed me. They said if I told you they'd make sure I could never ride a bird again…" he told me.

Fledge needs to learn to stand up for himself. "Did they say anything about where my Loftwing is?" I ask.

"The waterfall!" he blurts out.

"Thanks," I tell him. And before I have to take in anymore nasty boy essence I go into the training hall.

"Ah, Linka! My favorite student! Have you come to get some last minute shotgun practice?" asks the teacher cheerfully.

Why is everyone bugging me about last minute practice? "Sure," I say.

"The practice shotgun is in the back room," he tells me.

Maybe I can sneak to the waterfall with it. I slip into the back room and open the box. I take out the gun and heft it in my hands. I'm at the top of my class but the gun doesn't feel like it perfectly fits my hand. Oh well. I take a leather bag of shells and put it over my shoulder. I sneak stealthily back out and towards the door. I reach for the knob but the booming voice of the teacher stops me. Shit.

"Oh-ho-ho! What do you think you're doing, Linka? You know the practice gun can't leave the training hall!" he says.

I turn around. "Groose and his cronies birdnapped Inferno and put him in the Waterfall Cave! You know that thing's full of genetic mutations!" I pleaded.

He stroked his beard. "Well, that sounds like an emergency. Well, you're a good girl, Linka. I know I can trust you with that. But that can only be used against the genetic mutations. Skyloft is a peaceful place. Only knights are allowed to carry shotguns," he says.

"You got it!" I tell him. I strap the gun to my back and jog out. Finally, I'll be able to take out my frustration on some genetic mutations. Nobody really knows why there are genetic mutations in the Waterfall Cave. Some people think that they were failed experiments of Ms. Hylia's but others think they just evolved from regular animals. I'm not exactly sure what I think about the whole issue.

I dash off to the waterfall, cutting around the residential area of Skyloft City. Nice people live here but I don't want to get held up. I jump across the stones and tear up to the entrance. A wooden fence stands between me and the cave. I load a shell into my shotgun and fire at the fence. It goes up in a satisfying cloud of smoke. I run in and prepare for the horrors that lay in wait. Several bats and weird gloopy things later I come out on the other side. I pat the barrel of the rusty old gun.

"LIIIIINKAAAAA!" cries Zelda, jumping off her Loftwing and into my arms. I catch her and set her on her feet. Gee, wouldn't it be nice if _I_ could just fly around the damn cave.

"A place that Groose and his buddies like to hang out is not too far ahead. I think we might find Inferno there!" she says.

"Nice," I say, trying to shake off my blush. Everyone in the city already thinks Zelda and I are gay for each other. It wouldn't do any good if they saw her jumping into my arms. The two of us start off down the path but Zelda stops suddenly.

"H-hello? Who's there? Why are you calling me?" she says, looking over the edge of the path down to the cloud barrier below.

I snap my fingers in front of her face. "Um, Zel? Hello? Your phone isn't ringing," I tell her.

She turns her face back towards me and looks at me like she's never seen me before. "Lin…ka…?"

"Yes, my name is Linka," I say worriedly. I shake her gently. "You sure you're okay, Zel? Did you hit your head on something while you were coming over?"

She shakes her head firmly. "No. I'm sorry… I thought I heard someone calling my name. Tell me, Linka… do you believe there's anything below the cloud barrier? Most people think it's just a chaotic wasteland or that there's nothing down there at all… but I don't agree. Some of Dad's old books talk about a place called the Surface. A place that's far more vast than Skyloft with great cities and tiny birds!" she exclaims, throwing her hands up.

"Let's just focus on finding Inferno for now," I say, looking away from her. I don't like it when Zelda brings up weird questions like this. She always wants things to be part of something bigger than themselves, which is why she's such a devout follower of Ms. Hylia. But I honestly dislike doing things like that. I'm just fine with Skyloft City the way it is. I'm happy with the big mall and the expansive residential area. I'm cool with all the resources the Knight Academy has access to. I could be completely happy here, becoming a 'knight' and spending the rest of my life protecting our peaceful people from genetic mutations.

"Okay!" Zelda says cheerfully, skipping along beside me. She's my best friend but she makes me so uncomfortable sometimes… the way she can completely forget a conversation and pretend like stuff never happened.

However, I'm saved from existential musings by the sight of Inferno in a pen. I rush up to my poor, sweet Loftwing and load the practice shotgun. I take careful aim at the wood and fire. It goes up in a satisfying explosion. Inferno squawks softly and walks up to me.

"Mistress Linka, all safety systems and alarms were disabled manually. I am now vulnerable and unprotected. You should reinstall all safety systems and alarms," says Inferno.

I pat his metal head and pull out my phone. "Of course, Inferno. I'll get right on it."

Zelda coughs lightly from behind me. "Do you think that could wait a minute, Linka? We should probably get to the Wing Ceremony. We don't want to hold it up forever," she says politely.

I throw a leg over Inferno. "Sounds great. I'll redownload the stuff on the way."

"Mistress Linka, this is not how you usually prepare to fly me," objects Inferno.

"Today's a special day! Let's do something different!" I cry, coaxing my Loftwing off the path.

Zelda follows close behind me and we take off towards the Knight Academy. I open my phone and open the app store. I carefully type in 'loftwing security systems' and several answers pop up. I select a couple of my favorites and press download. Thank goddess they don't cost any rupees. It would seriously suck to have to pay twice for the same thing because SOME ASSHOLES disabled them all! I close my phone and slip it into my pocket. I can't be concerned with the intricacies of downloading things. I have a contest to win!

I land spectacularly in front of the Knight Academy and look at Groose, Cawlin, and Strich who are all gaping at me. I flash them a sweet smile and send Inferno to go wait for me in the sky.

"Hello, guys. Isn't it great that I found Inferno?" I say, taking my place next to them. Ugh, I'm like a head shorter than all of them.

Mr. Owlan smiles at all of us. "I'm very glad that we got the case of the missing Loftwing solved! You know, that should be a mystery novel. Maybe I should write it… Anyway, that's not why you're gathered her today! Today is the day of the Wing Ceremony and whoever wins will be one step closer to knighthood. And since today is the 25th anniversary of our fine academy- we are making this Wing Ceremony very special. The winner will go and receive a gift from the 'goddess' just as her chosen hero did long ago. And the goddess will be played by the lovely Zelda!" he says.

Zelda giggled and waved at us. Groose smiled stupidly and waved back. I facepalmed. He's so lovesick for her.

"So! I know you all want to win so I'll tell you the rules! I am going to tie this statuette to the leg of my golden Loftwing. The first one to retrieve the statuette wins! Easy enough?" says Mr. Owlan cheerfully.

We all nod and I drop into a running stance.

"Ready… set… GO!"

I race off the platform and take a feet-first dive into the sky. I whistle with two fingers and Inferno shoots out under me, catching me.

"Alright, Inferno! I want you to go at maximum speed toward the golden Loftwing! That is our objective!" I shout over the roaring of the wind.

"Objective understood, Mistress Linka," Inferno says to me. He goes upward at an alarming rate and then drops into a nosedive. I clutch his metal feathers and brace myself for a sickening crunch I hope doesn't happen. The three stooges are at each side of the golden bird flailing wildly for the statuette.

"Amateurs," I whisper, pulling myself farther forward on Inferno. I remove my right hand from his neck. I'll just make a clean sweep under the Loftwing and grab the statuette. Then the contest will be over and I'll get to see Groose cry. I pull my bird out of our dive and make us shoot under Mr. Owlan's Loftwing. I reach up and feel the cold stone of the statuette. The victory is mine! MINE! I open my hand to examine it and sense my eyes widen. IT'S NOT FUCKING THERE!

"You think I'm going to let you win?" Groose growled, "Let's see how you do with a face full of egg!"

Cawlin lobs an egg in my direction and I barely avoid it. Oh. Hell. No. There is no way in a million years I will let one of those three bozos win. I lean down close to Inferno and whisper a command into his mechanical ear.

"Drive the golden Loftwing into that strait of rocks," I say.

"Objective understood," he predictably replies. He takes a right and flanks Mr. Owlan's bird without getting too close to it. Just as I asked, the bird I'm chasing is pushed into the strait.

"AFTER IT!" Groose yells.

I fall back and let the three get ahead of me. This is my big chance. After they've all gotten into the strait I turn on full throttle and open Inferno's wingspan all the way.

"Give 'em a stiff wing!" I shout, sitting up.

We're gaining on Groose but he's gaining fast on the golden Loftwing and we're almost out of the strait. I move sharply to the right, smashing both Groose and his bird into a rock on the side. Cawlin and Strich both come to a screeching halt to help they're fallen ringleader. I don't stop to watch. I shoot off and break through the strait just after the target bird. I reach forward and snatch the statuette from its leg.

I won.

Laughing my head off and waving my statuette around, I fly back towards Skyloft. I pull my phone from my pocket and turn on the front camera. I snap a picture of myself holding up the statuette and post it to my Instagram.

"LINKA!"

I look up only to see Zelda diving off the platform and straight towards me. My eyes widen as she lands on top of me and smiles brightly down at me. "You did it, Linka! I knew you could!" she squeals.

I smirk. "Didn't you just say earlier today that you didn't think I could?"

She giggles. "I was only worried! I knew in my heart that you would win!"

I laugh with her but then realize how this position must look to everyone else watching. Zelda pinning me down on the back of my Loftwing after I just won? NOT GOOD NOT GOOD NOT GOOD AT ALL. I sit up and push her gently off of me.

"We have to go do something on the top of the statue of Ms. Hylia, right?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Oh, right!" she replies, pressing her index finger to her bottom lip and looking cute.

I blush and look away, pretending to be fixated with Groose's droopy pompadour. It's actually quite humorous.

Inferno drops us off on top of the statue and I brush off my pants.

"Linka, give me the statuette you won in the race. We must offer it to the goddess," Zelda tells me.

Yay, more Goddess mumbo jumbo. I fish the thing out of my pocket and hand it to her. She takes it gently and carefully places it in a triangle shaped hole. She doesn't turn back to me when she takes out that golden harp of hers and starts to play. It's a soft, benevolent song and her nimble fingers seem like they were meant to play it. But all too soon, she stops playing. She slides the harp back into her purse and finally turns to face me again. She holds out her left hand.

I get down on one knee and place my hand in hers.

"Great goddess, guiding light and protector of our people, grant us your blessing and mercy as I act in your stead during this ceremony," Zelda says, "Valiant youth who grasped victory at the celebration of the bird folk… In accordance with the old ways… I now bestow the blessings of the goddess upon you."

She reaches behind her and unties the shawl thing. She holds it out to me and places it in my hands.

"The blessings of the goddess drift down from the heavens aloft a sail, which I now pass onto you." she says softly.

"Thank you," I whisper, pressing it tightly to my chest. I can tell she made it herself.

…It smells nice, too.

"Linka, quit goofing. This is supposed to be a sacred ceremony!" Zelda giggles.

I stand up and stick my tongue out at her for good measure. "How's this for goofing?"

She puts her hands on her hips. "You know, they say the goddess gave the Sailcloth to her chosen hero long ago."

"So she gave him a fancy parachute?" I surmise.

Zelda nods.

Some goddess. Why'd she pick a stupid boy to be her chosen hero?

"Of course, the one you're holding isn't the same one. I've been working hard to finish making this Sailcloth in time to give it to today's champion. I'm really glad I got to give it you, Linka. Make sure you take good care of it, okay?" she says sweetly, smiling a smile that could melt solid ice.

"Of course I will," I tell her, melting like that solid ice.

She clasps her hand in front of her. "Thanks for making it up here to do this with me today like you promised, Linka," she says.

"Of course I did," I say, still under that same spell.

She laughs with her eyes closed and then approaches me so our faces are only inches apart. And for me, panic starts to set in.

"Now, we really should finish up this ritual," she whispers, "You… do know what happens at the end, right?"

I shake my head more in response to what I think she's about to do and less to the question she's asking.

"Uh…" I say.

She rolls her eyes. "Linka! What did I say about goofing off?"

"Something about not doing it?" I attempt.

She laughs again and then leans way closer to me. There's barely any space between us. Oh shit. What if Zelda really is gay for me?! WHAT DO I DO?! I, personally, don't think there's anything wrong with being gay but I know for sure that the people at the Knight Academy might not take it very well. They're really old fashioned. She takes my shoulders in her hands and spins me around so I'm looking off a ledge.

"You have to jump off the statue!" she says like it's the best thing in the world.

Well fuck.

"So, you see that big design in the middle of the courtyard? You have to land in the center of that to complete the ritual!" she says.

I started to say, 'okay, I think I get it,' when she pushed me off the statue. This is the second time today she's pushed me off something! The ground is rushing towards me and I am having trouble getting my parachute out. At the last possible second, I am gut-say!, I get the thing open and land safely in the center.

Zelda jumps off too and I catch her bridal-style in my arms. I grin stupidly at her.

"Did I do it right?"

"You did perfectly!" she cheers. She jumps down from my arms and then looks imploringly up at me.

I know that look. She's going to ask me for something.

"Since the weather is so nice and you won the contest… would you like to go ride our Loftwings together?" she asks shyly.

"Sure," I tell her, putting my arm around her slender shoulders.

We take off into the sky and fly out together into the clouds. I sigh and turn my face up towards the sun.

"Hey! Hey, Linka!" Zelda exclaims.

I glance over my shoulder at her. "What is it?"

"Today was amazing. Watching you win the race and performing the ritual together… I'll always remember this! It really was wonderful," she says, her eyes bright.

"Me too, Zel. Me too," I say, smiling warmly back at her.

I keep watching her and her expression slackens and saddens. She looks down and away from me and won't meet my eyes as she speaks her next words.

"You know…Linka…" she begins. She takes a deep breath and catches and holds my gaze. "There's been something I've been meaning to talk to you about-,"

"Shoot," I say.

But before she can tell me, a bright light rushes at both of us. I shield my eyes and pull back on Inferno's reins to stop him.

"What the hell is that?!" I cry.

A huge brown tornado froths and rages in front of us at point blank range. Where the hell did this come from?! The sky is growing dark from the tornado's black influence.

"Come on, Zel!" I shout, reaching out my hand towards her.

She stretches out her hand and out fingers brush together. I make to grab her wrist but her hand is receding fast. The tornado's come after her! It moves like a puppet, dragging Zelda into its foul clutches.

"Ahhhhh! Linka!" she screams as she's pulled down, down, down. And she's reaching out to me like I can save her. And then she's gone.

"ZELDA!" I scream, pulling Inferno into a nosedive into the tornado. But it's protected by a barrier and I'm thrown into the depths of the sky. I fall and fall for what seems like a forever. I reach lamely up towards the clouds.

"Zelda…"


End file.
